But fear not chumrades, there is one shining beacon on the bland chintz horizon - the Christmas Party! Whether you work at the global HQ of a FTSE 100 company or the local chippy, you're almost certainly going to be celebrating the birth of our Lord and Saviour by taking advantage of the free wine and going on a pub crawl with Barry from Accounts Payable.
But what to wear?
I'm normally pretty sympathetic towards Asda and my trust seemed well founded when I saw they had a party wear section on the website. So you can imagine my disappointment when I saw this shirt-jumper hybrid listed as 'party wear'.
Now don't get me wrong, it's eminently practical and very good value at £14.00, but you don't list it among dinner jackets an bow ties...which leads me to my second qualm - the use of the word tuxedo. This should be recognised as swear word in Britain, for it is a ghastly American import and besmears one of the most glorious garments ever conceived by the whit of man.
Asda - I know it's Christmas and we're all a bit giddy, but you need to have a quiet word with yourself.
River Island are usually a safe middle ground when it comes to high street suits, and to be fair they've got a decent range on at the moment.
My eye was drawn to this, not least for the subtle but pleasing patterned lining. The colour is a little festive but you could get away with it well into spring. It would go with a black turtleneck and even a plain long sleeve t-shirt. The full three piece suit will set you back £225 though you can dispense with the waistcoat if so inclined, and to be fair £50 for a waistcoat is a tad steep.
Quick note to River Island - the lowest button on the waistcoat should be left unbuttoned, a tradition dating back to Edward VII, so be a good sport and cease displaying yours with all the buttons done up. Ta.
River Island is so much like Top Shop that I think of them like Australia and New Zealand - I'm sure they're distinct but in my mind they're always going to be a double act. However to be fair to Top Man they've made a bold choice with this offering from their limited edition range.
It's currently on offer for £160, down from £200. It's not an easy colour to wear but it can be pulled off, maybe with a richly coloured turltlneck, or if you're feeling brave a white shirt an cravat. You need a certain amount of confidence or it just won't work, but if you do it's a definite consideration.
My recommendation this time is Hawes & Curtis and their range of high collar shirts
I have two of these myself and the beauty of them is that they go well with jeans, trousers, or the open collar suit. They stand out but without screaming and the large collars and cuffs make you feel like you're wearing something that little bit special.
I can also confirm that they're very easy to iron.
So there you have it - four little windows in the world of high street fashion at this most sartorially perilous time of year.
